Thursday, December 27, 2007


Hi all!

I have photos to post from Christmas, and a couple from Christmas Eve, but at the moment, I'm too tired to wait for them to upload! I'll do it tomorrow.

Instead, tonight I have a question for you...
When someone is being described as "on a hunt for a wife," is that such a bad thing? I mean, isn't that the natural course of relationships? Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I have always thought that the progression of a relationship is somewhat as follows: friends (if you're smart), date, seriously date, become engaged, then get married. Isn't that the whole reason to date? I'm sure people date just for the companionship, or the fun of it, or maybe even to make themselves feel better, but when most people are going on dates isn't it to see if you're compatible with that other person? If it doesn't work, or you find out they are not someone you're truly interested in, then you move on. So, I return to the original question. What, on earth, is wrong with dating people with an end goal of marriage with the right person?

I've been told by several people "oh, he's just on a hunt for a wife." Well, what if I were on a hunt for a husband? And what would that look like? Does the fact that I've gone out with more than two people classify me as such? If so, then I'm desperate, because I went on bunch of dates with all different guys in college. It's really kind of ridiculous. I know people care about me, and my heart, and my reputation, and my life...etc...but seriously.

I don't expect anyone to understand. Honestly, I'm not sure I completely do. There's history. Lots, and lots of history. It includes, but is NOT limited to: friendship, admiration, a (not-so-secret) secret relationship, hatred, "i never want to hear from you again," and much more. All of this adds up to one No, I don't mean the ooey-gooey, high-school scribble his name all over my notebook kind of love. I mean the profound, genuine, care-for-the-other-person-no-matter-what kind of love. The kind that spans the peaks and valleys of adolescent years, the kind that wonders how the other person is (even though everyone thinks, including them, that you couldn't care less) the kind that can go from pure hatred to swooning in the same breath, the kind that no matter what happens, I will always care. Who knows how things will go. What twists or turns will take place or who could walk back into someones life. Who knows! I most certainly do not.

I do know that tongues are wagging behind my back, and people are speculating, and believing they know everything that goes on. People talk, they gossip, they whisper, they silently condemn with little or no regard to what might actually be the case. Many people (women esp) live for the latest gossip about so-and-so, and would die if they didn't have the chance to pass on the news. I only wish I could be a fly on the wall to hear the things being said. I want to make a couple things clear...if someone has something to say, it really should be TO me, and not about me..and if you THINK you know everything, or what's going on, you're probably wrong. However, if you'd like to grow up and come ask me about it...I'd be happy to share. People change, they grow up, they experience difficult situations, they grow apart...then back together. Personally, I'm not a very public person. If my relationship is on the rocks, or going downhill, I'm not going to share that with the world...and most definitely NOT with the people that I am confident will pass it along. Of course I will share with a couple select friends, and loved ones, but I am not going to broadcast it like a national emergency (as so many do) several months before it's officially over. Nor am I likely to cater my actions to "how everyone else feels" about how I handle things when there will be talk no matter what. I'm not living my life to please the quick-to-judge people at church. Instead, I am living my life as worship to my maker. If I feel like He is happy, satisfied, and encouraging with the way I live and love, then I am content. While I sort-of care what other people think, His opinion is the only one that truly matters. Please, feel free to rake me over the coals about rebounding, or perhaps even being "on a hunt," but before you do, remember that you have probably been in a similar experience, and that things are not likely as they appear.


Sara said...

Oh, sweetie, I think you are exactly right! Why date if it isn't for the purpose of finding the right person to be with?

I'm so sorry people are talking about you behind your back. Keep your head up, follow your heart and listen to God. At some point, they'll find something new to talk about and leave you alone.

Make sure you ask him if he likes Seattle?


twopoundmiracle said...

on the hunt is good...
it is intentionality
and god brings us these treasures often from unusual places...
lets do lunch
and dinner